Thursday 2 June 2011

How to get over sadness that has been haunting you for so long?

 WHY DOES THIS SADNESS EXIST? AM I THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING FROM IT?


Millions of people are going through sadness, anxiety, depression and the feeling of being left alone and various other feelings have become a serious issue now. As a fact we can't deny that deep sadness is a part of life that nearly 'everyone' has to experience at some point of their time, be it the man on the street or be it the Late Princess Of Wales; Lady Diana Spencer everyone has faced serious lows.
For some, they are left in great pains and never able to stand up again.
For others, they go through with courage and start a new life with hope.
We aren't God and we can't change facts.
But we may mean the world to someone and we can choose a way that won't let down nice people around us and most importantly,our hopeful future.


The reason i started off by saying that everyone has to experience sadness is to find solace in the fact that we all share it with everybody who has been a victim of it.




Extreme sadness or depression can have serious underlaying causes. There are mental illnesses that present with depression as a symptom. If the sadness is persistent and you have thoughts of suicide (which is common in a lot of people so even if you have thought about suicide, it's perfectly alright don't underestimate your self by thinking that you are a physco or you need a mental treatment), then regardless of why you have this symptom, you should seek help and not be alone no matter how much you want to be. Many people will tell you to just get over it or find something happy to remember. "Look for the silver lining."
NO! But that's not the answer




For what i have understood from my observation and my personal experience the best way to get over sadness is to share your sadness with that 'only' person you trust the most or love the most in your life or perhaps someone who really understands you (and doesn't consider you as a gone case). Now that person could be your best friend, your siblings or anybody who you trust blindly (For those who have NOBODY to trust on, I'll come you guys too later. Just be patient). Tell them about everything you have in your mind, let out all your feelings just like they are WITHOUT any alteration or hesitation. Cry with them, hug them, sit with them for hours, perhaps even if it takes the entire night make sure you rise up again.


I know everybody says this like it is that easy but trust me on this, when you will try there will be a time when you will succeed in getting over your sadness. Feel blessed that at least you have that someone special who you can talk to.There are trillions out there who don't let out their feelings and keep their sadness locked up in their ribcage just because they don't really have somebody to share their feelings with or perhaps they are scared that no body understands them and hates them.


NOW COMING TO THOSE WHO FEEL LEFT ALONE, FEEL THAT THEY HATED AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY 'NO ONE' TO SHARE THEIR SADNESS.


Their are few ways that has worked miraculously  well for many people and i aim to list them all with a brief explanation.


WAY 1: Do something you love: Engage yourself purposely  in something you enjoy doing helps a great deal.  You don’t have to go out of your way and learn new things.  Whether it is gardening, painting, pottery, dance, music; bring out that artist in you and focus all your energy on that.  Believe me, it works wonders.


WAY 2: Try to make some plans with your friends. Chances are that you'll have tons of fun. Don't expect too much of yourself. Face the things that you're dreading. Once you do, you're bound to feel a lot better. Buy yourself or someone else a gift. Relax. Take a long walk by yourself to think things over, take a bubble bath, or listen to soothing music. Be sure to get enough sleep by going to bed and waking up at a reasonable time. Being tired makes you feel more stressed and irritated, especially around others.


Scribble down the depression!
WAY 3: Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. 


WAY 4: Get a massage: Massage has been seen to be therapeutic and calms not only the body but the mind too. Get a good relaxing massage and let all those negative feelings flow away.


WAY 5: Don't think you're unlikeable! There are plenty of fish in the sea If he/she wasn't the fish, your emotions are telling you. Find someone else. Remember there will always be someone out there for you!


WAY 6: Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well.


WAY 7: Stay activeExercise improves your mood and alleviates depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your situation. Go running outside, visit (or join) the gym, or just go for a walk, maybe with a friend, and think of releasing the anger or sadness with every step. If you don't exercise regularly, here are some ways to motivate yourself to work out:
  • Do something small, right now. Going all the way to the gym, or getting decked out in your jogging gear, or doing whatever it is you feel you should be doing obviously seems like too much work. So just do ten push-ups or jumping jacks. Easy. And usually, it's just enough to get your heart rate going a little bit, and make you feel like a little more exercise wouldn't be so bad...
  • Get halfway there. If you want to go to the gym, but just don't feel like it, at least just drive yourself to gym, and tell yourself that if you still don't feel like working out, you'll go home. Odds are, though, once you're there, you won't feel like driving home. (But if you do, that's OK too. But you probably won't.) Then tell yourself you'll just walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes, even if your exercise routine involves much more. Just telling yourself to do one more thing, without having to commit to anything else, will make things much easier. And before long, your endorphins will take over.
Hugging Helps enormusly 
WAY 8: Give someone a hug.Everybody likes to get a hug once in awhile. It'll make both of you feel good. Know that what you are going through is very common. Talk to someone you trust about what you are feeling - they can help you sort through your emotions.

WAY 9: Do something totally selfless and anonymous - volunteer at a shelter or local treatment facility. Give thought to how much you have if you have a roof over your head, food to eat and are healthy. Lose yourself by keeping busy with indulging your time in helping others. This will keep your mind away from your own problems

WAY 9: Set realistic goals. Always take things one step at a time. Stop worrying about things that may never happen. Find yourself. Get involved with things you like to do. Keep a journal. Your journal can act as someone you can always vent to and will never judge you. Look at the world in a more professorial way. Try to concentrate on your work and keep your mind busy so that it may think less about the problem that is making you sad.

WAY 10: Let go. Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret or sadness. Know that your sadness is a hurdle between you and your real success. Break it! LET GO!Don't let anger get the best of you. Try to see further. Find a new world.

WAY 11: Find a new reason to live (And not suicide). It is important that you live for people who love you, who have brought you up, and anyone who has played any important part in your life. LIVE FOR THEM. Find a reason to live. Be it studies, or pursuing your passion in whatever field you want, or perhaps in work so if you are married then live for your children who have a future. Bring them up well and think about them.

WAY 12: Understand that no matter how bad things may seem you will get over it. Believe that your sadness will spur. Believe that it's just a phase of your life and that it is destined to get over someday.Believe and have faith that you will live to see brighter, full of happiness and filled with love days that will absolutely replenish you and bring you back to exsistance. Just believe that every passing day with sadness will bring you more close to your happy days.

WAY 13: Enjoy encouraging music and movies by yourself. It's important to try to stay social with family and friends. Listen to music that makes your mind feel at ease and relaxed. Watch movies that you enjoy and aren't depressing. You definitely want to avoid anything that's sad, stressful, and depressing when going through this feeling of hurt and lost. So it's important to walk away from anything that makes you feel that way, and direct every single emotion and your actual presence on things that are relaxing, positive, and encouraging to you. Keep up the good fight, take each day at a time. Then say these words everyday. "Everything is going to be alright.

WAY 14: Time. Give your sadness time to heal. A
pathy heals all wounds.You cannot let a sadness overtake your life and immobilize you. There are others in your life to whom you are accountable and you can't withdraw and go into a shell because that means you prefer the sadness and don't put any value on what else is important in your life.
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Sadness can last a lifetime if you allow it
And a lifetime of sadness is your lifetime wasted

Try to find some positive e`nergy to understand why certain things happen within your life then seek happiness from your understanding to enjoy your limited tomorrows. We can control our time if we believe, yet we need positive energy to control what fate becomes from that time.

Therefore Look Foward. Breathe. Smile and get loved.
Best of luck
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Pain will come and go. I myself don't consider myself cured. But I'm in one piece and managing the most difficult parts so far. Just keep plugging along.
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Peace
Cheers

N.R